Today was a day of news. This is the first entry I'm writing from my new laptop. I finally have a computer that isn't super slow and doesn't have a broken hinge and noisy fan. So yes, here I am writing on my new laptop. Apart from the computer, I also found out I got a job that I interviewed for. I really wanted my (I think) boyfriend to be the first person I told, but he's disappeared into the ether today, so I guess its alright for me to blog about it. I now feel like I did 5 years ago, when I got my first laptop and was excited yet apprehensive about starting college, except now I'm supposed to be a real adult and start working and paying off loans and be responsible. (Shudder)
I'm always telling my (possible) boyfriend about how he should grow up, I've completely forgotten how reluctant I am to growing up. I think I've been wanting to stay a kid so badly that subconsciously that's been the main factor in me not finding a job. Of course the economy didn't help, but the fact that I applied to only 10 jobs in the last 6 months didn't help either. But I guess maturity caught up with me after all, or just the dwindling funds in my bank account. I was complaining to my friend the other day about how much I miss Calcutta and how I miss my friends there and she said, "No Pratima, you miss being employed. You miss having money." Sadly enough, my Furry friend was right, I'm super excited about the fact that I can actually do things and not worry about making my paltry bank account last, in fact I can actually add to it so I can move out someday soon, or take one of the many trips I've been wanting to take.
I've been saying all along that 2010 will be a good year, and I really think I am right about it. But for now, I'm off to set up my Skype account so I can talk to my friends I miss so much and am too cheap to make international phone calls to speak to.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Aal izz well...
Ever since the new year started, I've been infused with this strange sense of optimism, I have no idea why. I was extremely pessimistic and a bit of a downer all of last year, so this is actually a big change in me, which I'm pretty sure was brought about by my trip and the events of it, but the sun generally seems to shine a little brighter these days.
I resolved to be more laid back and not complicate things by over thinking, and I think that's working out pretty well for me. After a somewhat strange and complicated liaison with an old boyfriend (who I've been friends with since we broke up), I had started my old thought process of wondering "what this meant" and over thinking and starting to get morose and generally not having fun with the situation at hand, and he told me I should "go with the flow and that sometimes, if we don't complicate things, they tend to un-complicate themselves." I thought about what he said, and it made a lot of sense, and since then, I've been trying to remind myself of that in every situation. It's pretty strange taking advice from someone who's only giving it to you to get what they want from you, but it was good advice nonetheless. This guy and I haven't spoken as often as we used to since I got back, but strangely enough, that's not bothering me.
Classes started and that's been strangely nice, have even been making an effort to be friendly with fellow students, and even the professor in one class, who, strangely enough, was one of the people who evaluated my application. I even took a friend's advice and was completely myself without putting on any airs or sophisticated masks at a job interview this week, though I don't know how well that will work out for me, but time will tell. But yes, I am going with the flow and not complicating things and so far, in the words of Amir Khan's character, "aal izz well."
I resolved to be more laid back and not complicate things by over thinking, and I think that's working out pretty well for me. After a somewhat strange and complicated liaison with an old boyfriend (who I've been friends with since we broke up), I had started my old thought process of wondering "what this meant" and over thinking and starting to get morose and generally not having fun with the situation at hand, and he told me I should "go with the flow and that sometimes, if we don't complicate things, they tend to un-complicate themselves." I thought about what he said, and it made a lot of sense, and since then, I've been trying to remind myself of that in every situation. It's pretty strange taking advice from someone who's only giving it to you to get what they want from you, but it was good advice nonetheless. This guy and I haven't spoken as often as we used to since I got back, but strangely enough, that's not bothering me.
Classes started and that's been strangely nice, have even been making an effort to be friendly with fellow students, and even the professor in one class, who, strangely enough, was one of the people who evaluated my application. I even took a friend's advice and was completely myself without putting on any airs or sophisticated masks at a job interview this week, though I don't know how well that will work out for me, but time will tell. But yes, I am going with the flow and not complicating things and so far, in the words of Amir Khan's character, "aal izz well."
Friday, January 22, 2010
Love in a Time of Malaria
Romantic love is wholly overrated. It brings nothing but pain and suffering in the end. Therefore, I, from this day forward, will dedicate all my affection to the great city of Calcutta, or Kolkata to be politically correct. I spent the last month and a half there and had the time of my life. Rolls from Badshah, shingaras from Bancharam, Deviled Crab at Mocambo, chaa and adda with friends, paan masala hookah at Urban Desi, I was in heaven. Now I'm back on Earth and not enjoying it.
Going to Calcutta somehow makes me realize things about myself. For example, I'm a true Bengali at heart. I like rice and laziness and like to sit around and ponder the meaning of life and pretend to come to some epiphany and write about it in my inconsequential blog. I realized that I don't absolutely abhor the idea of living in India. I am incapable of separating emotions from intimacy and if I try, it'll come out in the form of constant gushing of tears for four hours. I realized that first love, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, never goes away. I also realized that I like to complicate situations more than necessary in my head, and the person I'm miserably awake cause of at this hour despite being unwell will never love me.
So I may not have written that novel I meant to on my trip, but I did do a fair bit of soul searching and some of the results might actually help me. My New Years resolution: not complicate situations and go with the flow. And flowing along I will be till I can make another visit to the City of Joy, because after all, Park Ave's got nothing on Park Street.
Going to Calcutta somehow makes me realize things about myself. For example, I'm a true Bengali at heart. I like rice and laziness and like to sit around and ponder the meaning of life and pretend to come to some epiphany and write about it in my inconsequential blog. I realized that I don't absolutely abhor the idea of living in India. I am incapable of separating emotions from intimacy and if I try, it'll come out in the form of constant gushing of tears for four hours. I realized that first love, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, never goes away. I also realized that I like to complicate situations more than necessary in my head, and the person I'm miserably awake cause of at this hour despite being unwell will never love me.
So I may not have written that novel I meant to on my trip, but I did do a fair bit of soul searching and some of the results might actually help me. My New Years resolution: not complicate situations and go with the flow. And flowing along I will be till I can make another visit to the City of Joy, because after all, Park Ave's got nothing on Park Street.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year
Happy New Year! I have a great feeling about this year ahead. Not to jinx it, but I think it'll be a good year. Here's hoping...
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