Water-colored Memories

After being recommended to by many people, I finally watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and I have to say, I really liked it. Though, I have no idea what kind of mood I'm in now; am I cheerfully optimistic or am I slightly depressed by the general concept? I mean, should we be allowed to just hit Ctrl-Z and have a blank screen to work with again? Would people actually opt for it? Wouldn't it dehumanize our experiences by not allowing them to assimilate into our lives and thought process?

I've actually wished for methods of erasing memories in the past after breakups to a point where I considered enrolling myself for experimental shock therapy sessions. Perhaps I was a bit dramatic, but who isn't at sixteen? After my last breakup, though I wasn't quite as dramatic, at times I wished I had never met my ex, even though some of my best and most fun moments were with him and our relationship was by far the best one I have ever been in. This movie actually made me think about what would've happened if I did find some way to erase all those memories and what I would be missing out on. For starters, I wouldn't remember my first kiss, which is something I never want to forget; it really was the most perfect moment. If my thought actually could be "mapped" and erased, I would lose all my drama-filled and fun teenage years which have made me the person I am today, though whether or not that is a good thing is not something I can comment on in an unbiased manner. I wouldn't remember snorkeling in coral reefs in the Bahamas or great clam chowder in Boston or even the nice and sometimes remote places in NYC I've been to over the years, but more importantly, I wouldn't remember how those moments made me feel which, as transient as they may be, I believe those are the feelings that make us human and remind us that we are alive.

It's really amazing which memories we hold dearest; the most insignificant moments which have no impact on the long run can be the thoughts that we keep closest to our heart. Something as simple as walking around the neighborhood while smoking a cigarette and talking, taking random, unnecessary turns just to make the moment last longer, can stand out more than every conversation combined. And if you haven't seen traffic lights change from 30-something floors up in a midtown Manhattan building, you'd be surprised at how mesmerizing it can be if watched with the right person. If there ever is a commercially available way to eradicate memories, I hope I never am tempted to use it, and I hope time doesn't wash them away either.