Courtesy Is Contagious...Or Not

People say New Yorkers are mean and cold and unfriendly. As much as I would like to say, "No we're not, we're just as nice as the rest of you," I can't. The announcements on the subway have to tell us to be courteous and remind us that the elderly and disabled need a seat more than us able-bodied, sleepy, cranky individuals who are late for work because we overslept. Of course, I'm one of those cranky individuals every morning, extra cranky on the days that a crying baby ruins my extra 20 minutes of sleep on the train.

When I was in DC a few summers ago, a random person on the street actually asked us if we wanted her to take a picture for us. We New Yorkers were shocked to say the least. I work in tourist-infested midtown, and the only feeling I have for them is annoyance. Do you really need to stand in the middle of the street to take a picture JUST as I'm about to walk by? More importantly, you're on 34th street, HOW can you not see the Empire State Building? (I cannot count the number of times someone asked me to point them in the direction of the Empire State Building) I guess all this just proves that we are a rather unfriendly lot. Can you blame us? We're very busy and we live in a very expensive city which means we MUST stay busy if we want to pay rent and get everything done. But that should be no excuse to forget our manners. The English don't forget propriety, and we can definitely learn a few things from them.

I am ranting about all this because I got a taste of the New York rudeness today. My neighbor was locked out of her apartment and her child was inside. She was telling him to unlock and open the door, but being that he is 2 or 3, he didn't understand what was happening. All this was happening as I was waiting for the elevator, so as a good neighbor I asked her if she was locked out and my following question would have been, "Can I do anything to help?" I thought she might need to make a phone call or something. What I got in return for my neighborly niceness was a few rough words screamed at me. A simple "Yes" would've sufficed. I guess I learned my lesson: when in NY, do as the New Yorkers do. Don't love thy neighbor. Courtesy is definitely not contagious. The disembodied MTA voice lied to us.

Come and Get Me Too

Yesterday, I spent the day at the beach. As uninviting as the north-eastern Atlantic is, something about a day at the beach with good company is something that must be done every summer, in my opinion. I didn't go in the water; spent most of my time frolicking on the beach, burying and getting buried in the sand, flying a kite, and playing some version of volleyball. It was definitely the most fun I've had at the beach in a while. After the sun had set and night the evening darkened, looking out into the horizon, we could see ships sailing by, most likely cruise ships. As I stared out into the sea, I began to wonder about the people on those ships, and the ships themselves.

That ship is traveling all over the world, on a journey right then as I attempted to hit a volleyball which caused my non-athletic arm to swell. Yet, there I was, on this shore, not even attempting to leave. The lines to a Frank Sinatra song came to mind at that moment. "Somewhere, beyond the seas, somewhere waiting for me. My lover stands on golden sands, and watches the ships that go sailing." In my mind, a lover need not be a person, but just something to love, and there is definitely not a dearth of something new to love with in this world. I recently had a conversation with someone very close to me about moving out of New York City and as much as I love this city, I would love to live somewhere else for some time if situations permit. After all, NY survived for hundreds of years before I came along, and it will survive without me too, and I can always come back whenever I feel like watching a Broadway show and having falafels at 4am. At that moment, those ships called out to me, "Come away with me Pratty. Let's go find things to fall in love with." Before I could answer that call, I had to protect my head from the volleyball coming towards it.

The Last 4 Years

As another FIFA World Cup passes us by and memories of Zidane's head-butt move aside in our minds to make room for David Villa's smiles and Iker Casillas's tears (and great saves), I have to ask my self (apart from "Am I REALLY four years older?") what I've done these past four years and what that has taught me. Obviously, my life has changed a lot since then. Just the other day, I realized that on the day of the last world cup final, I was supposed to go out to celebrate a close friend's birthday. Now, I am not even friends with that person anymore.

I guess the biggest achievement would be that I've graduated from college and starting working full time, i.e. I've become a somewhat responsible adult. As much as I like my job, I understand now how it feels to just want a nice long vacation. So I guess what I would really like to do is send a few lessons to my 19-year-old self from four years ago, in hopes that some other 19-year-old will somehow come across these words and be enlightened, or at least wonder over the words of someone four years older.

1. Don't hurt others for personal gain. Don't lie, don't cheat. Be honest and straight forward. Gaining something by hurting another person will not bring happiness. I've heard that my whole life, but didn't fully grasp the lesson until faced with the decision. Of course, I made the wrong one, and to this day, I feel bad about it.

2. Do your homework. It's annoying and you could be doing something much more fun, but slacking will not get you anywhere. "God is in the details." I'm not religious, but I do realize that the big picture consists of many details; if the details are bad, the big picture will be bad. Homework, and any other small and annoying "must-do" is like the details.

3. Some people are simply not worth your time, and no matter how hard you try, some people will never consider you worth their time. As infinite as time is, it is also precious. Don't waste it.

4. An IBM ThinkPad lasts forever. I got mine in 2005 and it's still working.

At the risk of sounding old, I'm going to stop with the advice here. Also, I honestly cannot remember ALL the things I've learned in the last four years these just happen to stand out. As for my goals for the next four, I'm still trying to figure those out. Having broken my new year's resolution to not over-think by January 2nd, I've been pondering what I want from my life in the next few years. One thing that stands out is seeing Christiano Ronaldo swap jerseys with David Villa in Brazil with my close friends next to me enjoying the view as well.

Congratulations Spain!

Ode to the NYC Subway

There's no other way to start this than to just say that there are some EXTREMELY strange people/events on the NYC subway. I sometimes find myself happily minding my own business, lost in my own thoughts and laughing about something in my head, and some bizarre incident happens. A few weeks ago at Union Square, a man felt the need to share a view of his private parts with some fellow New Yorkers, myself happening to be among the unfortunate. It was oddly violating; I wanted to go into a corner and curl up into a ball and just magically appear at home. Just last night I was getting home late and on the platform a man said, "I want to f*** you" to me as I passed by. Again, very VERY disquieting. I walked as quickly as I could towards a cluster of people and hope that these strangers would shelter me from any further contact with this man, who after that point just stood there and whistled to himself.

But lets not associate one of the most expansive subway systems in the world with only negative things. I mean, it's open all night...ALL night. Take that London! One of the biggest cities in the world, and your "Tube" shuts down at midnight! Even if you're not an insomniac like me, and you don't feel the need to be under the city in the dark depths of the night, the subway is a strangely cultural place. In a city where many cultures and walks of life blend together, it's fitting that the transportation system seems to be the mixer stirring it all together. I hear great music at the 34th St stop on some days when I'm leaving work. I actually stood there one day during lunch and listened, I was late getting back to work, but what are pipe lengths compared to music that actually makes you stop and listen.

What makes me curious is the person sitting next to me though. What is that person thinking? Is he or she thinking of the plot for the next big bestseller, or perhaps Pulitzer winning article? Did he just make a bad trade that is going to cost millions of dollars? Is she actually checking out that good looking guy carrying a guitar while her boyfriend is sitting right next to her? Does his family dine with the heads of state in his home country while he's here going to college? It's pretty amazing the different kinds of people you can encounter in NY, and these people are probably sitting right next to you without you realizing. Of course, its very "un-NY" to start a conversation with a stranger, so you'll never really know.

Now I should get back to my project which I'm procrastinating from, which is actually about the subway. Stand clear of the closing doors please!

Blah

I feel extremely depressed today. I don't know why, actually I might know why, but at the moment, I'm simply trying to practice the exercise that my friend taught me: think of 3 good things in every bad situation. So I guess I should make a list of a 3 good things and come back and read this later in the day. (This is also my first blog entry from work...shh)

Positive thing about life #1. I am healthy, as far as I know.

Positive thing about life #2. The fact that I'm writing this from work means I actually HAVE a job which is not something everyone can say right now, and it's something I am thankful for.

Positive thing about life #3. I have great friends who I can depend on to help me pick up the pieces whenever I need to.

Ok, exercise complete. Now back to staring morosely at the blank graph paper in front of me.

My Resurrection

In the spirit of Easter, I would like to announce my resurrection in the blogging world. The religious among us will probably consider me a heretic for alluding to Jesus in this way, but I guess by birth I am a idol-worshiping pagan, though I don't fully believing in any religion. However, this post is not about my religious beliefs. In fact, I want to keep my religious and political beliefs out of my blog (for the record, I'm a registered Democrat and an agnostic).

I have been extremely busy lately, that is no excuse to stay away from my blog and my writing which I love more than anything, but I'm going to state my excuses anyway. I moved and was busy unpacking and buying new things and setting things up, I didn't have internet for about two weeks and felt bad writing blog posts from work, and I'm always super tired with work and school taking up all my time. So there, those are my excuses! Henceforth, I will make time to write in my blog somewhat regularly.

As for anything interesting that's happened in the past few weeks, there has definitely been things worth writing about, but they can't be properly expressed till I'm inspired to write about them. What I am looking forward to doing over the next few weeks is browsing small bookshops and finding nice books to fill my bookshelves with. So, here's me making a toast to the written word.

I won I won!

The Oscars were yesterday, and though I didn't watch it because I was afraid they would give the atrociousness that was Avatar some awards (ok the graphics were nice and pretty but films are supposed to tell stories, and the story it was attempting to tell was unoriginal and predictable), I always find myself wondering what I would say if I were to win something that prestigious.

Well I won something today! Maybe it's not an Oscar, but it's still something special, because it means someone actually cares about reading things I wrote, and there is no greater feeling of accomplishment for a writer. (Yes, yes, I know, I'm not really a writer, but in my own world, I've been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize in Literature)The writer of one of my favorite blogs, Spontaneous K gave me a "Sunshine Award!" So I guess now is when I make my thank you speech. Thank you for reading my random thoughts! Spontaneous K is actually someone I felt a "connection" with when I started reading his blog because we've had a few similar thoughts/posts. I wish he was here in NY, we might have made good friends.



I'm supposed to be sharing this award with other bloggers, so here are some other blogs that I follow regularly and enjoy reading a lot:

Fariha from Under a Different Sky

Elizapaa from Off the Page

Tricia from Pages of My Journal

I know it's a short list, but I feel like these are the blogs I read the most along with Spontaneous K's. To answer the question of what I would say to winning a special award, I guess I would simply say "Thank you" in the most heart felt way I possibly could. Thank you!

P.S.-

Okay! The rules for accepting the Sunshine Award are as follows:
1. Put the logo in your post or within your blog.
2. Pass the award onto fellow bloggers.
3. Link the nominees within your post.
4. Let nominees know they have received this award by leaving a comment on their blogs.
5. Share the love and link to the person who gave you the award!

You've Got Mail

Doesn't anyone miss getting letters in the mail these days? I mean personal letters, not bank statements or credit card and electric bills. In the era of email and text messages and Facebook, I find myself missing the personal touch that comes with a hand-written letter. I'm not so old that I grew up in an era where "snail mail" was the only way to keep in touch, but I don't think it's an art that should be forgotten, even though there are faster ways to get messages across. I don't mind words on a screen when it something to the effect of "Hey, what are the plans for tonight," but do we really have to forget everything Jane Austen taught us?

Throughout her novels, we find people writing letters to each other, of varying lengths containing varying emotions. Having spent my teenage years learning the lessons Ms. Austen felt the need to share with us, I have quite a fondness for letters. I would love it if my boyfriend wrote me a letter explaining his actions after we have a fight that upset me, or if a friend who lives far away wrote me a letter instead of just writing an email. There's something about knowing that your loved one, whether a friend or relative or lover, moved their hand across that page, that they were the last person to touch it before putting it into the envelope, reading their handwriting and seeing the parts where they gripped the pen harder with emotions or their penmanship got worse from writing swiftly from excitement that makes reading a letter almost intimate. The arrival of mail was always an exciting moment in Austen novels. Why do we deny ourselves the joy of seeing familiar handwriting on an envelope in the mailbox and the excitement of opening a letter, the whole time wondering what is written in it?

I am a lover of the written word; I like it when others express themselves through writing. Yes, email is writing, but something about having something tangible to store in a shoe box and look at many years later with nostalgia appeals to me. Maybe one day, I'll finally open my mailbox and find something worth getting excited for again. Till then, a girl can dream...

Water-colored Memories

After being recommended to by many people, I finally watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and I have to say, I really liked it. Though, I have no idea what kind of mood I'm in now; am I cheerfully optimistic or am I slightly depressed by the general concept? I mean, should we be allowed to just hit Ctrl-Z and have a blank screen to work with again? Would people actually opt for it? Wouldn't it dehumanize our experiences by not allowing them to assimilate into our lives and thought process?

I've actually wished for methods of erasing memories in the past after breakups to a point where I considered enrolling myself for experimental shock therapy sessions. Perhaps I was a bit dramatic, but who isn't at sixteen? After my last breakup, though I wasn't quite as dramatic, at times I wished I had never met my ex, even though some of my best and most fun moments were with him and our relationship was by far the best one I have ever been in. This movie actually made me think about what would've happened if I did find some way to erase all those memories and what I would be missing out on. For starters, I wouldn't remember my first kiss, which is something I never want to forget; it really was the most perfect moment. If my thought actually could be "mapped" and erased, I would lose all my drama-filled and fun teenage years which have made me the person I am today, though whether or not that is a good thing is not something I can comment on in an unbiased manner. I wouldn't remember snorkeling in coral reefs in the Bahamas or great clam chowder in Boston or even the nice and sometimes remote places in NYC I've been to over the years, but more importantly, I wouldn't remember how those moments made me feel which, as transient as they may be, I believe those are the feelings that make us human and remind us that we are alive.

It's really amazing which memories we hold dearest; the most insignificant moments which have no impact on the long run can be the thoughts that we keep closest to our heart. Something as simple as walking around the neighborhood while smoking a cigarette and talking, taking random, unnecessary turns just to make the moment last longer, can stand out more than every conversation combined. And if you haven't seen traffic lights change from 30-something floors up in a midtown Manhattan building, you'd be surprised at how mesmerizing it can be if watched with the right person. If there ever is a commercially available way to eradicate memories, I hope I never am tempted to use it, and I hope time doesn't wash them away either.

Too Many to Choose?

I was just talking to a friend about some problems she's been having with her love life, and I made a comment along the lines of "Why does everyone suck at relationships?" It's a pretty broad comment, but I think it's somewhat valid. A few of my friends are in happy relationships, but most of us are trying to stay afloat in ones we have or ones we're trying to start. I find almost everyone I meet has some strange inability to make a relationship work, whether it's because they're too idealistic and unrealistic, too immature and cannot commit, or just simply not nice.

My friend pointed out that perhaps it's because we have too many choices. She has a fair point; the average woman usually has a few men vying for her attention at any given time and a man, even if he can't find a relationship as easily, can get some gratification. Is it necessarily a bad thing that we have choices? I'm not even sure what my own opinion on this is. Sure, we like having choices of foods to eat and clothes to wear, but when we have choices of relationships, does that make us not put in enough effort into one or give one up simply because we know there are others out there? I always say, "There are six billion of us on this planet, we're bound to get along with more than one person," but is that necessarily a good thing? Do we give up on something that could be great with the right amount of nurturing just because we think there is something else to explore out there?

It's not only with relationships. We elected a new president in 2008 who ran on a campaign promise of change, and somehow, we expected that change to come overnight. I'm not very well versed in politics, but it seems like his approval ratings are dropping because he didn't come in with a magic wand and change the situation overnight. There's a plethora of politicians waiting to fight for his position, a horde of people for us to choose from, and instead of waiting for the current president's term to end before passing judgments, we're already talking about who should run in 2012. I think we should give the guy a chance and not expect him to have godlike qualities.

Choices are good, I guess. But I sometimes wonder, is our whole generation just too spoiled?

Let it snow...

It's amazing how happy a snow day makes me even at the age of 23. When I found out classes are canceled tomorrow, I couldn't stop smiling for a while; it means I don't have to stay up late doing my homework. My friend and I decided to go out and take pictures of wintry NYC scenery, though taking my laziness into consideration, I don't know how well that will work out. The unfortunate thing about not being a child anymore: everyone I want to play in the snow with has work tomorrow. Don't you miss the days when snow meant no school and getting together with the neighborhood kids and playing on each others' front yards while the "grown ups" shoveled? (I grew up in suburban New Jersey) I emailed my friend after I found out about my day off and suggested going to the park to play in the snow, he has to work, as does my other friend I spoke to about going to the park, and the scary thing is, I'll be one of them soon (on the 17th in fact). I guess I'll be an adult and try to take nice pictures. Why did I have to grow up?

Empire State of Mind

It's really strange the things we miss seeing when we're away from home. When I was in Calcutta, I didn't miss my room or my neighborhood or anything related to my house. Come to think of it, I didn't really miss NY at all, or so I thought.

I was walking towards the F train from Times Square the other night and the Chrysler Building was in front of me in all its beauty and I realized that I missed seeing it. It is by far one of my favorite buildings in NY; I find it's simple elegance beautiful, like a Chanel suit, not that I own any Chanel suits. My friend thought it was a strange thing to miss when I mentioned it to him, but it makes me feel like I live in a city with beauty in it. I never thought of NY to be a particularly "beautiful" city, but I find the Chrysler Building truly exquisite.



The other thing I really missed was seeing the Brooklyn Bridge. I went to college near it and spent lots of free time at Brooklyn Bridge Park, and like the Chrysler Building, I think it's beautiful, the brick structure, the greenish reflection of the lights on water at night, and the pattern the cables make. Whenever I got stressed, which was quite often during senior year, I would go down to the park and sit on this particular rock, smoke a few cigarettes and listen to the water hitting the rocks while staring at the bridge and Manhattan across the river; all this strangely set my mind at ease. I don't live in Brooklyn anymore, so I hardly get to go to that park and I miss it a lot.



For some reason, seeing the Chrysler Building that night made me realize that I'm back home. It's really strange what triggers feelings, of any sort. I guess I'm back to being in an Empire State of Mind.

NEWs

Today was a day of news. This is the first entry I'm writing from my new laptop. I finally have a computer that isn't super slow and doesn't have a broken hinge and noisy fan. So yes, here I am writing on my new laptop. Apart from the computer, I also found out I got a job that I interviewed for. I really wanted my (I think) boyfriend to be the first person I told, but he's disappeared into the ether today, so I guess its alright for me to blog about it. I now feel like I did 5 years ago, when I got my first laptop and was excited yet apprehensive about starting college, except now I'm supposed to be a real adult and start working and paying off loans and be responsible. (Shudder)

I'm always telling my (possible) boyfriend about how he should grow up, I've completely forgotten how reluctant I am to growing up. I think I've been wanting to stay a kid so badly that subconsciously that's been the main factor in me not finding a job. Of course the economy didn't help, but the fact that I applied to only 10 jobs in the last 6 months didn't help either. But I guess maturity caught up with me after all, or just the dwindling funds in my bank account. I was complaining to my friend the other day about how much I miss Calcutta and how I miss my friends there and she said, "No Pratima, you miss being employed. You miss having money." Sadly enough, my Furry friend was right, I'm super excited about the fact that I can actually do things and not worry about making my paltry bank account last, in fact I can actually add to it so I can move out someday soon, or take one of the many trips I've been wanting to take.

I've been saying all along that 2010 will be a good year, and I really think I am right about it. But for now, I'm off to set up my Skype account so I can talk to my friends I miss so much and am too cheap to make international phone calls to speak to.

Aal izz well...

Ever since the new year started, I've been infused with this strange sense of optimism, I have no idea why. I was extremely pessimistic and a bit of a downer all of last year, so this is actually a big change in me, which I'm pretty sure was brought about by my trip and the events of it, but the sun generally seems to shine a little brighter these days.

I resolved to be more laid back and not complicate things by over thinking, and I think that's working out pretty well for me. After a somewhat strange and complicated liaison with an old boyfriend (who I've been friends with since we broke up), I had started my old thought process of wondering "what this meant" and over thinking and starting to get morose and generally not having fun with the situation at hand, and he told me I should "go with the flow and that sometimes, if we don't complicate things, they tend to un-complicate themselves." I thought about what he said, and it made a lot of sense, and since then, I've been trying to remind myself of that in every situation. It's pretty strange taking advice from someone who's only giving it to you to get what they want from you, but it was good advice nonetheless. This guy and I haven't spoken as often as we used to since I got back, but strangely enough, that's not bothering me.

Classes started and that's been strangely nice, have even been making an effort to be friendly with fellow students, and even the professor in one class, who, strangely enough, was one of the people who evaluated my application. I even took a friend's advice and was completely myself without putting on any airs or sophisticated masks at a job interview this week, though I don't know how well that will work out for me, but time will tell. But yes, I am going with the flow and not complicating things and so far, in the words of Amir Khan's character, "aal izz well."

Love in a Time of Malaria

Romantic love is wholly overrated. It brings nothing but pain and suffering in the end. Therefore, I, from this day forward, will dedicate all my affection to the great city of Calcutta, or Kolkata to be politically correct. I spent the last month and a half there and had the time of my life. Rolls from Badshah, shingaras from Bancharam, Deviled Crab at Mocambo, chaa and adda with friends, paan masala hookah at Urban Desi, I was in heaven. Now I'm back on Earth and not enjoying it.

Going to Calcutta somehow makes me realize things about myself. For example, I'm a true Bengali at heart. I like rice and laziness and like to sit around and ponder the meaning of life and pretend to come to some epiphany and write about it in my inconsequential blog. I realized that I don't absolutely abhor the idea of living in India. I am incapable of separating emotions from intimacy and if I try, it'll come out in the form of constant gushing of tears for four hours. I realized that first love, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, never goes away. I also realized that I like to complicate situations more than necessary in my head, and the person I'm miserably awake cause of at this hour despite being unwell will never love me.

So I may not have written that novel I meant to on my trip, but I did do a fair bit of soul searching and some of the results might actually help me. My New Years resolution: not complicate situations and go with the flow. And flowing along I will be till I can make another visit to the City of Joy, because after all, Park Ave's got nothing on Park Street.

New Year

Happy New Year! I have a great feeling about this year ahead. Not to jinx it, but I think it'll be a good year. Here's hoping...