My First Time

I did something I've never done before yesterday; I went to watch a movie all by myself. For some reason, going to a movie alone was always something I avoided doing, thinking it was a "loser" thing to do, but it was actually a nice experience.

After going to Kiehls' Flagship store near Union Square yesterday to get presents for some friends, I had a few hours to kill before going to a birthday dinner, so I thought about what I could do instead of just go home or do some more shopping which my bank account can't handle. As I was walking by the movie theater on Broadway, the bright, red, scrolling lights caught my eye and I realized a movie I've been attempting to watch was playing, so I walked over to check show times. Clearly, I was meant to watch the movie because the next show started in five minutes, so I bought a ticket and stepped towards a new experience: watching a movie by myself in public. I walked into the theater thinking, "Everyone's going to know I'm here by myself. I look pathetic," but as I found a lonely seat in a corner and I looked around, I realized I wasn't the only one, many people were there alone. Perhaps it was the type of film that did not appeal to the masses, not a large Hollywood blockbuster but a small budget British film, and hence people could not convince their friends/significant others to join them. I showed the preview to a friend and he actually said, "This looks like the type of movie a guy goes to watch with a girl if he wants something in return." I was about to tell him his statement wasn't necessarily true, I've dated men who like small-budget, independent films, but I didn't feel like prolonging the conversation. Any way, I noticed the number of alone-movie-goers scattered all over the theater, male and female, and it made me happy; some of them were actually quite attractive. Perhaps these were the "art-loving" people the village is known for.

Since I was alone, I was actually able to focus on the movie a lot more than I usually do. There was nobody next to me whispering comments to me, and I wasn't tempted to do the same, so I focused on the plot and direction and noticed minor things that I would not have otherwise. That was something I liked about watching a movie alone, I feel like I really got to experience what the director wanted his audience to. The movie I watched was called "An Education." For a British film, it had a very American approach to humor, I thought. What I've always enjoyed about British movies and literature is the sarcastic, dry humor that doesn't seem like an obvious attempt to make audiences laugh, but manages to anyway. The attempts at humor in this movie, as well as the use of foils and symbolism, were very apparent; I prefer and expected more subtlety. However, I am not a film critic. I probably don't even know what I am talking about, but this is MY blog and I can write whatever I want, and it's not like anyone reads this garbage anyway. All-in-all the movie was enjoyable as long as you didn't over-analyze.

There was something from the movie that really got the gears turning in my mind. The main character of the movie was obsessed with everything French: the language, the culture, the clothing, the film and music, etc. She goes to Paris, once with her much older lover, and again with a boyfriend she meets at Oxford (we don't see the latter, we only hear about it in the narration). This made me wonder, what exactly is it about Paris that is so romantic? I have never been to Parks, but it seems like all lovers want to go to Paris. Everyone with someone "special" in their lives wants to be swept away and taken to Paris for a romantic vacation. In fact, I was inspired after watching Casablanca for the uncountable time to ask a boyfriend to go to Paris with me. Needless to say the answer I received was a very clear "no," but the point is, one of my first ideas for taking a vacation with a person I was romantically involved with involved Paris, and I would not have even thought twice about it if he had ever suggested it. Yesterday, I remembered a time when someone actually had wanted me to go to Paris with them, though I'm not really sure if it was something romantic. He was taking a class which met in NY for one month and Paris for the second month, and he asked me to take the class with him; he said we would have fun in Paris and drink wine and eat bread and cheese and walk along the Seine and go to the Louvre. Obviously, I declined, as tempting as it was. It was out of the question then. Ironically, the class was canceled because not enough people registered for it. He and I are no longer friends. In fact, we never were. Back to the question, what is it about Paris?

I decided to walk because I like walking, so I headed uptown since I would need to take the train in that direction anyway to go home. Right in front of me was the Empire State Building, making a statement in orange and blue. What was it about the Eiffel Tower that was so much more romantic than the Empire State, or Big Ben for that matter? There are art museums, not the Louvre but still museums that house a LOT of art, in New York, London, and most other major cities of the world. Most big cities are located on rivers or other bodies of water since their function as a major port is what made them a major city in the first place, so Paris definitely is not the only place with riverside cafes and restaurants. In terms of theater and entertainment, does NY or London, or any major city for that matter, really lack anything in that department? As for the people, anyone is romantic when they fall in love. I'm positive there were times when I behaved more love-stricken than the entire population of France combined. Then why do we all want to flock to Paris to cultivate our love? If someone could give me an explanation I would love it. Better yet, if someone would like to come with me to find the answer, I would love it even more. Whether we remain in contact years later or not, we can say to each other, "We'll always have Paris."

Back to America where I tried something new. I had an enjoyable day with myself yesterday. I took myself shopping for gifts and got myself a present too, treated myself to a movie, and then walked around with myself. It felt like I took myself out on a date, and it was strangely fulfilling. Perhaps in an attempt to find partners and companions and gain the approval and acceptance of others, we forget that we are the ones capable of making ourselves the happiest.