Pemberley...

A few people have been asking me what Pemberley is. (In fact, one person asking me WHO is it!) I feel the need to take this rainy evening to clarify and enlighten.

Pemberley is the name of Mr. Darcy's considerably large and generations-old estate in Derbyshire. However, I am NOT looking for an expensive piece of property in England along with a rich and aristocratic husband; though I won't complain if I find one. Pemblerley, to me, is a state of mind in which we feel a sense of belonging and happiness. Elizabeth Bennet, upon visiting Pemberley with her aunt and uncle, thought of how she could have lived there instead of visiting it as a tourist, and as much as I would like to believe that it was only Darcy that she truly fell in love with, she fell in love with Pemberley too. She not only wanted Darcy, but she wanted to be the mistress of Pemberley. This is where I like to be a bit more romantic and ignore Pemberley's value as a piece of real estate and believe that she felt like she belonged there, like the old library which was a "work of generations" was somewhere she could spend hours reading, and the light in the portrait hall was perfect for her picture (or likeness as Austen would have called it). In short, she felt like she belonged there.

Similarly, when I would like to find a place that really "calls out" to me; says, "Pratima, you belong here." I would like to find a place where I am content with the cards dealt to me, where I feel safe and not like I'm going insane (like I do most of the time these days). It's not a physical place, but a mental one, I guess much like attaining Nirvana (no I'm not Bhuddist). I don't want to find God or the origins of the universe. I'm happy just knowing that there IS a universe and that I'm a small part of it. For now, I will be happy finding Pemberley, and someone who will walk through the halls and explore with me.